Hate vs Love
by HerondaleOdairMorgensternology
Summary: After Jace tells Clary they need time apart so he dosen't harm her with the heavenly fire, Clary leaves the institute hurting and in her pain she fails to notice a certain evil demon watching her. Jonathan makes a deal with Clary and takes her prisoner. Clary hopes someone realises what happened soon as Jonathan becomes more bold everyday. Yes there is smut/lemons!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, this is primarily a Clary/Jonathan story and will contain smut/lemons or whatever you call it. Please don't continue if you aren't into that stuff. Basically I own nothing except the plot, Cassandra Clare own everything else. This is set after City of Lost Souls :) Enjoy!**

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><p>She woke up sweating, she'd had an awful nightmare where she was back in Jonathan's apartment and he had tied her up and hurt her while Jace had watched, <em>saying nothing<em>,_ doing nothing_, as if her cries of agony didn't reach his ears. She knew it was over now and that she had Jace back but those days still haunted her. To this day she still didn't know if Jace would have saved her if something like that had happened. _Would their love have proved greater than the influence of Jonathan's connection to Jace?_ She liked to hope it would have, that their love was invincible and more powerful than anything else in the world.

She peeled the covers of the bed off of her soaked skin and headed straight for the bathroom connected to her room. She had been living in the institute ever since Jonathan's letter for her own protection as Maryse has ordered. One of the perks of her living in the institute was that she got her own bathroom. She rushed her shower and threw on a pair of jeans and a random tshirt, wanting to see Jace as early as possible, he had texted her last night after she had fell asleep saying that he needed to talk to her, she hopes to god it was good news. She hurried over to Jace's room then paused outside the door to compose herself so she didn't look like she had run like a desperate maniac just to see him. She knocked on his door and heard him call a '"Come in". She opened the door and walked in, she located him sitting on his bed inspecting his hands, he did that a lot recently, ever since the heavenly fire had taken up residence inside of him. She approached him slowly, smiling when he made eye contact with her.

"Hey, you said you wanted to talk to me?" she said with hope in her eyes, maybe he had finally learnt something about the heavenly fire and how to control it.

"Hey Clary, um, I decided on something and I don't want you to be upset because I'm doing this for you because I don't want to hurt you, at least until I figure out how to get this damned fire out of my body" he said looking fearful of her reaction.

She already knew where this was going, in fact she had prepared for this moment, she gave him a nod to continue.

"Well I was thinking that we should spend time apart so that I don't hurt you" he said. After seeing her face fall he quickly added, " I just can't resist the urge to touch you or kiss you when I see you and if I hurt you I'd never be able to forgive myself, Clary, please, you have to understand."

She nodded mutely, " I understand but I don't think i can bear to be in the same building as you without being near you so I think I'll move back home if that's the case."

Jace nodded with sad understanding clear on his face, he clearly felt awful about what he was asking her to do but she didn't care because right then she just wanted to get away from him so she could cry in private.

She turned away from Jace and briskly made her way out of his room without a backward glance, once out of his room she ran for the elevator, on her way she passed Alec who called out for her but she ignored him, tears streaming down her face, she stepped inside the elevator and blindly felt for the button to go down. She found the button, smashed her fist into it and then proceeded to throw the door open at the bottom and run out of the institute. Half way home she stopped running as she was out of breath and collapsed on a bench in a nearby park. She was close to home but didn't really care to explain her situation to her mom right now. She just sat there, exhausted from her emotional pain and her running. Her eyelids started to droop and she let them as it was early afternoon and the sun on her face made her twice as sleepy.

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><p>She woke suddenly so a very late afternoon where the sun had begun to set. She sighed, she had to get going home to explain to her mom what had happened and ask to move back in. As she went to move she heard a voice chuckle very close by. She jumped out of the seat and swung around to face none other than Jonathan himself. He smiled darkly at her and she stood frozen, she felt all the blood drain from her face as she realized he was alone, in a park, with Jonathan, how could she have been so stupid as to fall asleep in a public place without letting anyone know where she was when Jonathan was supposed to be on the lookout for her.<p>

She instantly shifted into a fighting stance. "Oh come now, do you really think you can beat me Clarissa?" Jonathan asked her, rolling his eyes at her. She was determined to keep him away from her. Her mind race through the night she ruined his ceremony, the way they had battled, she won then, she could win again. "I bet you are recalling the night we had our little fight. Just so you know, I let you win. Just to show you how helpless you were when Jace was connected to me. There's no way you can compete against years of training with a few months of training Clarissa, please give up and I won't hurt any of your petty little friends".

Clary pondered his offer for a few moments before finally moving out of her fighting stance. "Good girl, now come here". As much as her body screamed at her to run, she knew she couldn't outrun him and her best bet was to go with him willingly so as not to anger him and hope that Jace and the others caught on to what had happened fast enough. She reluctantly walked over to him and he moved behind her. Her skin crawled as he pulled her tshirt up and etched a rune onto her back. She felt her legs give way and Jonathan scooping her up into his arms. She looked at him and he shrugged, " Rune for disabling the lower half of your body. I really can't be bothered with you attempting to run away". She glared at him as he snapped his fingers and they appeared in a pitch-black room.

" This is your room for now, until i can trust you to stay with me you will stay down here". Down here she thought? So she was underground or in some kind of basement then. She tried to collect any pieces of information that might give away her whereabouts or possible escape routes. He walked around in the darkness and then set her gently onto a bed, he must have some kind of night vision or something she thought. She felt him pause and then felt his hand stroke her cheek. She wrenched away violently and she heard him chuckle and they say, " How do I love you even though you hurt me and seek to destroy me?" he said in an almost sad voice. Clary felt like clapping for him, she had to admit, his acting skills were exceptional since there's no way a demon like him could feel anything.

"Easy", said Clary, "You don't love me, you are incapable of love". She could physically feel his fury then she felt him leave, she saw a door open, bathing her basement in light for two seconds, before slamming shut again behind Jonathan. She hoped her friends and family found her soon because she was afraid of what Jonathan might try next.


	2. Chapter 2

**Basically I own nothing except the plot, Cassandra Clare own everything else.**

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><p>She woke with a start, leaping off of the bed she had been lying on she fell onto a cold hard stone floor. Confused she sat up and took in her surroundings, she located Jonathan within a matter of seconds and was reminded of what happened and how she had come to be in the basement. She didn't remember even getting tired let alone falling asleep but she must have as she was drenched in water and Jonathan was grinning down at her with an empty bucket in his hands.<p>

"What was that for?" she asked, practically spitting venom with her words. How dare he treat her like this and expect her to grow to like him, was he stupid? He obviously knew nothing about girls, she thought to herself.

"I tried waking you up but you kept mumbling and swatting at me, asking me to give you five more minutes" he retorted with raised eyebrows, his grin widening by the second.

She blushed, feeling a bit embarrassed from the way he described her antics. She didn't doubt his story as she had been told she did this every morning to her own mother and Maryse. She stood up and noticed a glint in his gaze as he raked his eyes up and down her now soaking body, causing her to feel sick with disgust. Light now flooded the room, she noticed, as Jonathan had turned on a light bulb in the middle of the room and her eyes scanned the room for a weapon. A weapon was the most important thing she needed right now but she realized with frustration that her room was practically bare, save the bed, a basin with a tap and two chains with shackles on the ends, connected to the wall in the far corner. The thought of what those chains could be used for made her cringe inwardly, she refocused back on Jonathan as he watched her with an amused expression.

"If you're a good girl then I might buy you some things to fill the space with. And see those things over there?" he said, directing his gaze to the chains, " If you're a bad girl then you'll be put there for time out or punishment, although I must say I much prefer punishing you than putting you in time out", he said with another glint in his eye which she now recognized as lust. His comments annoyed her greatly. _'Good girl'_, '_Bad girl'_, what was she, a dog? He could torture her all he liked, she wasn't going to give him what he wanted. She knew he wanted companionship, someone to care about him and love him. He was lonely, she could see that, she still didn't understand why it had to be _her_ and not just any girl but she wasn't about to waste her time on such hopeless thought.

"I'll be back in a sec, you be good while I'm gone" Jonathan said with a wink before climbing the stairs swiftly and closing the door behind him. This time she recognized the click of the automatic lock. He acted as if nothing had happened last night.

"Nice to know you don't hold grudges" she mumbled to herself. She walked over to the chains and tugged on one, testing to see if there was a possibility of pulling it loose and using it to strangle her brother. Unfortunately, when they didn't budge she took a closer look to find that there were demonic marks etched around them. Her mind told her that these runes meant that it was impossible to pull the chains out of the wall. She also realized that because of her angel origin, the demon shackles would burn once they were closed around her wrists. She instantly let go of the chain.

She wondered around the room for a few minutes, wondering what Simon, Isabelle, Alec, Magnus and even Jace were up to and if they had even realized that she was gone. These thoughts helped distract her from her growing fear of being locked up in a house with Jonathan without any form of protection. She heard some creaking from the floor boards above her and then there was silence for half a minute. Jonathan then reentered her prison with a tray of food. Clary hadn't realized until then how hungry she was and at the sight of food her stomach growled loudly. Jonathan chuckled, he does that a lot she observed. Was she really that funny? He set the tray down on her bed and gestured her towards him, " I thought you might be a bit hungry considering you didn't eat yesterday". On the tray was tomato soup, some bread, bit of butter but no knife to her disappointment and a spoon. " If you want more when you finish I can bring some down" he said, looking at her with care in his eyes. Where had he picked up these amazing acting skills she thought again. Did he inherit them from Valentine or learn on his own? _Stop thinking_, she thought to herself. _Less thinking more eating, you need to keep your strength up in case an opportunity for escape appears._

She wolfed down the food and ended up reluctantly requesting seconds. Jonathan then retreated upstairs looking very pleased with himself at the trust he thought he was earning. _Yeah right_, she thought, like that was ever going to happen. Now what was she supposed to do? Jonathan then returned, free of dishes and dressed in gear with extra gear in his arms. " I thought you might like to train and that maybe I could teach you some stuff as well" Jonathan muttered, looking almost shy. Shy? Jonathan? She couldn't believe it, he must just be scared she was going to verbally attack him she thought, dismissing her original interpretation.

"Okay" she said, feeling slightly uneasy about agreeing to train with him. _Maybe I'll finally get my hands on a weapon_ she thought happily. He passed her the gear and turned around. She hesitated at her lack of privacy and then decided she had nothing to loose and hastily pulled the gear on. When finished she let him know and he began to teach her. He taught her weak spots and how to stand properly. How to balance her weight in relation to her size and how she could use her size to her advantage.

"The last thing for today is determination and resilience" he told her. She looked at him quizzically. " You have to be determined to win no matter what the cost. You need to be resilient, get up no matter ho much it hurts, no matter if you think you are dying, you tell yourself you are okay and you continue. I don't care if you break a bone or 10 bones you keep fighting" he said with a firm strict look at her. His explanation scared her a bit. "Now you'll fight me, I'll go easy and I want you to use what you've learnt today and keep going no matter how much it hurts or how many times I knock you down". She nodded. She felt a bit uneasy about touching Jonathan or letting him touch her. He had been eyeing her body ever since she began to sweat during training, making her feel like prey but she couldn't really do anything other than give in to his wishes right now since he wasn't exactly doing her harm yet.

They both settled into a fighting stance. They matched each hoers footsteps, dancing in a circle, it felt almost normal to her, a brother practicing training with his sister, that is until he glanced at her body and that glint returned to his eyes, making her jolt back to the reality of the situation. She lunged, he dodged and then hit the back of her head as she flew past him with his open hand. She fell and then jumped right back up, a bit dizzy but reluctant to show weakness. She went to repeat her move and then changed last second, she swept her feet while ducking, using her short height to her advantage and knocking his feet out from under him. He looked a bit surprised, he expected her to repeat her move from before, he obviously hadn't counted on her being a fast learner. He grinned and got back up. They continued exchanging hits evenly as Clary learnt the way he moved and thought. She slowly began to anticipate his moves and started landing more hits. Suddenly Jonathan took it up a level, making his hits harder and quicker. Clary was finding it harder and harder to get back up. Eventually he hit her and she stayed down for a few seconds instead of getting up. " I need to rest" she croaked out.

Suddenly he had pounced on top of her, he grabbed her wrists in one of his hands and held them above her and moved his face close to hers. She stared into his eyes, shocked by the swiftness of his actions and pinned down by his weight. "What did I say about resilience? Your enemy is not going to let you rest now is he?" he asked her sternly. She could feel every line of his body pressed against hers and for a second she felt lust in her veins. She hadn't been touched like this for months thanks to the heavenly fire coursing though Jace. As if reading the feelings in her eyes, Jonathan stiffened, suddenly becoming aware of their bodies and his eyes darkened with lust. He looked beautiful and terrifying at the same time. She tried to struggle but instead only resulted in grinding her hips into his, eliciting a growl from him.

He slid his free hand between her legs and pried them open, positioning himself in between them. He then closed the small distance between their faces and when she went to move her face away from his he gabbed her chin and kissed her. It felt wrong. She knew it was wrong, it was her brother. But at the same time she hadn't felt more alive in months. She couldn't help her body's reaction. She yielded and he kissed her passionately, his tongue ran across her bottom lip and she opened her lips, allowing him entry. His tongue dominated hers, not in a harsh way but instead in a sexy way, massaging hers with his but at the same time taking control. He grinded against her hips and she moaned. She opened her eyes that she had closed when trying to get away from him before and saw him looking at her like a predator stalking it's prey. Suddenly Jace ran through her mind and she stopped. She shut down. He pulled away and looked at her quizzically. Tears sprung in her eyes as she realized what her moment of weakness had cost her. She felt sick. He sighed and picked her up and laid her on the bed while tears streamed down her face. Instead of getting angry like she though he would, he wiped her tears away, took her gear off and pulled her normal clothes back on. She didn't even react when she realized she had been naked in front of him when he changed her and he didn't show any sign that he cared. He stroked her hair once, picked up the gear and left.

What had she done? And why the hell was he so nice? All these thoughts muddled around in her head and slowly she drifted off.

**Thanks for the review! Keep them coming, especially if they're hate so I can fix something if it's wrong :)**


	3. Chapter 3

She sat in a huddle on her bed with her legs folded up and her arms around them like a cage, as if she could shield herself from the horror o what she had done. Clary had awoken around half an hour ago when all the images of that night had flooded back to her and she had moved into her current position, staring at the floor. Her mind was working in overdrive. She reasoned that her response to Jonathan's ministrations had been a result of her lack of physical contact for the last 3 months and nothing else. He killed Max, he enslaved Jace, he turned Amatis, she had to remember these things, she could not afford to grow feelings for him.

She was broken out of her thoughts by the opening door. Jonathan strode in with his gear on and an evil smirk on his face. "If you're planning on training again then I suggest you get out" she spat at him. She hadn't expected to sound so venomous but she couldn't help it. His eyebrows rose and she thought she saw a glimmer of hurt in his eyes but then his evil mask was back on and he was smirking at her again.

"Oh please. don't act like you didn't enjoy it dear sister. You are mine, remember that" he said slinking towards her confidently. If he kept acting like this then it would make Clary's job of hating him a whole lot easier. Gone was the boy who had wipe the tears off her face and put her to sleep like a brother should. He was back to his regular annoying self, confirming Clary's suspicions of him acting nice towards her just to gain her trust. "Alas, I am not here for training, I just wanted to spend some time with my sister and give her a gift for her hard work in training yesterday" he said with a smug grin on his face. If he wasn't here for training then that must mean he was just out fighting or something along those lines, why else would he wear gear?

"Where did you go? You're wearing gear so you must have been somewhere" she questioned.

"Ah, always the observant one, who gives me an idea. But to answer your question, I was out, strengthening my army" he answered with a smile.

"uh.. wh-what's this … idea?" she asked, very scared of the answer.

"Well since you love to be observant I thought i'd play a game with you, although I guess it's a bit more like a deal" he said, searching her eyes, although for what, she couldn't guess.

"Well don't just sit there looking smug, explain yourself" she said, growing aggravated by his confidence and ego.

"You let me do whatever I want without complaining and every 1 minute I give you a clue as to where this house is, the second you want me to stop what i'm doing I will but I'l also stop giving you hints." She had to stop and think about his offer. He was right, she was naturally curious about where she was and she knew that the more she knew about this place, the better chance she had of escaping or calling for help. But was a few hints worth him touching her again? He was looking at her with obvious excitement and arousal and it made her uneasy. Even if she did play the game, who knows how long she'd be able to restrain herself before yelling at him to stop whatever vile things he was doing or trying to do.

"Every 30 seconds you give me a clue, 1 minute is too long and then I'll play" she said with heavy sarcasm coating the word play. He had some really twisted ideas she thought to herself. His eyes lit up and heave her a very cruel smirk before answering.

"Fine, 30 seconds it is, starting now" he said.

He reached out a hand from where he was sitting and used it to tuck one of her curls behind her ears. From behind her ear, his finger gently brushed down her neck and shoulder before curling around her arm gently. His other hand grabbed her other arm and he slowly pushed her down into a lying position. "We are not in a traveling apartment like before, we are in the real world and it is night time right now" he said to her softly as he moved ontop of her. One hand holding him up so his body was pressed against hers but only lightly. His other hand stroked her cheek and he bent his head towards her, she went to move her face to the left but he caught it with his hand. " Now Clary, I said no resistance or complaining" he scolded her before leaning his face in again. Her heart thumped wildly in her chest, anticipating his kiss but instead he moved to the right slightly, passed her cheek and placed a kiss on her neck. Her eyelids fluttered shut and she gasped in shock when she felt warmth shoot done her nerves in her spine. "We are not in any European country, nor in Idris" he whispered into her ear, making her shudder. She forced herself to lay completely unresponsive and unmoving underneath him. Even thought her body screamed at her to slap him.

"That narrows it down so much" she mumbled sarcastically only to hear him chuckle at her response. He bite her neck gently and she surprised herself with a moan. His body tensed up and she heard him growl as he bit her neck harder. Despite her minds protests her body arced into his, her hands on his biceps. He moved a hand between her legs opening them so that he was situated between them and then put his hand back into her hair, his other hand still holding him up. Her mind went fuzzy and she could feel the warmth radiating between her legs. She was so close to giving in to her body's desired but she couldn't. She had drilled the thought of Jonathan as being the embodiment of evil so thoroughly into her head over the last 3 months that she almost cursed herself for not letting herself give in to his touch. " This city was consumed by communism at one point in time" he almost growled into her ear.

She couldn't believe that even now he was still holding to his promise, she had forgotten about the hints a while ago as she couldn't concentrate on them. He tore her shirt open and started to lick and bite his way down the front of her body. Effectively removing her bra as he went. She went to push him away out of impulse but he just grabbed her arms in a vice like grip above her head. For some reason it made everything a bit more sexy to her. She felt her body practically melt when he reached the waist band of her jeans. He let go of her arms, she could have asked him to stop already but she hadn't. His eyes flickered up to hers and they stared at each other for a moment. His gaze was anamalistic, a predator waiting to be released onto his prey and she had lust filled eyes that served only to egg him on. He ripped her jeans off, breaking the button, in one swift move and bent back down to her hips. She gasped in surprise at his sudden strength and impatience. Her hands were now digging into the bed on both sides of her and her back arched as he bit and kissed her hip bones. He stroked her panties and she moaned loudly. He grabbed her by the waist and kissed up and down the inside of her thighs.

Suddenly he stopped and climbed back up her body. She looked up at him, pouting her lips like a sad puppy and he laughed. "You stopped" She breathed through her pants.

"You're not ready yet. I want you to want it, not because you want it but because you want me. You need to understand that you are mine." With that he gave her one last wishful look, got up and went to walk out. She understood what he meant. He didn't want her to just give in because she wanted someone to touch her. He wanted her to give in because she wanted him to touch her. She laughed inwardly, like there was a chance of that happening. He was her brother, and anyways, she loved Jace. Where was Jace anyhow? Why hadn't he come for her yet?

Jonathan reached the door and she suddenly remembered something. "Jonathan ?" she called. He swung around to look at her.

"Yes my darling?" he answered with a grin.

"You said you had a gift for me" she reminded him, wary of what the gift might be. She hoped it was nothing like what had just happened between them. At the same time she did hope it was something along those lines, her body still thrummed with adrenaline from his touches and her anticipation.

"Ah yes, I almost forgot!" he said, excitement lighting his eyes and a genuine smile appearing on his face. She was surprised by how beautiful he looked with such a real smile, no hint of evil in it, he looked like an angel. He pulled out a sketchbook from inside his gear and a thin box of graylead pencils. She was filled with excitement and in a moment of happiness and real gratitude she jumped up and hugged him. He stumbled back, obviously unprepared for her affections. She pulled back abruptly and took the sketchbook and pencils form him gently. She blushed a deep scarlet as she remembered she was only wearing panties.

"Thankyou", she said softly. He lifted her chin up with his fingers and looked into her eyes.

"Anything for you" he whispered. Then he lent in and kissed her forehead and turned suddenly and walked through the door. She was surprised with his abruptness but was too distracted by her gifts to ponder them. She ran to her bed, jumped onto it and opened her new book. She set to work, filling it with meaningful images to keep her sane. She decided to draw Jace first but halfway through she realized it looked nothing like Jace and disturbingly more like another blond she knew. She slammed the book shut. What was happening to her?


	4. Chapter 4

**Firstly I would like to thank all my lovely reviewers ! You guys are amazing and give me support to keep going, if anyone does have any suggestions or things that they want to happen please let me know and i'll try to incorporate them into the story :D xx **Basically I own nothing except the plot, Cassandra Clare own everything else.****

"Amazing", he breathed onto her neck. Clary spun around to see non other than Jonathan Morgenstern leaning over her shoulder to observe her drawings. The drawing that her book was open to just happened to be the flowers from the greenhouse that Jace had taken her to see on her first birthday spent at the institute. They held a very special meaning for herald even know, looking at the flower she had drawn, Jace's face came into her mind and she felt tears pooling in her eyes. She loved him so much but if he hadn't come for her by now then he maybe he didn't feel the same way? She hastily dismissed the idea. He loved her, she was sure of it. And he would find her. She hated thinking of herself as a Damsel in distress. She trained for a reason, she wanted to be able to protect herself.

" Who showed you these flowers might I ask?" Jonathan questioned, frowning at her sketch.

"Jace showed me them in the institutes greenhouse on the night of my first birthday at the institute. It was the first time I'd ever kissed a boy and the moment I realized that I had fallen for him so the flowers hold a very special meaning for me" she said in a state of defiance. She hated talking about Jace to Jonathan. It was like she was scared to taint her memories of him with Jonathans opinions. Her love for Jace felt so pure, she didn't want Jonathan to ruin it. She saw a hint of anger in his expression before it went blank. He looked at her as if he was intrigued by her.

"You still love him don't you?" he said. Even thought she hated Jonathan she still felt fearful of answering his question. It was like breaking Simon's heart all over again. He was evil and yes, he broke hearts but that didn't means she should stoop down to the same level. Surely she could be better than Jonathan.

"I'm sorry Jonathan but I do. They only feeling I've ever felt towards you other than hatred is lust and a pity" she said honestly but gently. He looked shattered. Well as shattered as he could look since his expression barely ever changed, but Clary had begun to notice the little changes in his facial features that signaled different emotions. "Jonathan, I just want to go home, I miss everyone" she said to him with a choked voice. And it was true. She missed her Mother and Luke. She missed Simon and Isabelle and Alec and Magnus and even Church. Most of all she missed Jace.

Suddenly Jonathan smiled. It wasn't a genuine smile, it was an evil grin like a cheshire cat. "Let me show you something little sister" he said, spitting the word sister sarcastically. She was terrified, and in the moment, instead of being a brave shadow hunter she turned into a little girl, she nodded obediently and followed him op the stairs and out of the basement that he had been locked in for the past week. Ever since he gave her the book and pencils he had only come in for training purposes and to give her food. Regardless, she was still eating less than usual, sometimes refusing to eat at all. Her cheeks where sunken and her eyes looked hollow.

Jonathan led her into a sort of study, except in the middle of the room there was a magnificent oak desk and chair they glinted as she moved, polished to perfection they looked brand new. On top of the desk was a swirling ball of what, Clary could only describe, as clouds. Jonathan grabbed her wrist painfully tight and dragged her towards it. When he reached it he turned and looked at her with obvious hatred in his eyes. " Tell me what you think of your angel boy now". He touched the clouds with the tip of his index finger and backed away, all the while watching her with a very serious expression.

Clary watched as the clouds turned black and began to swirl, the innermost clouds changed into random colours and then stopped spinning. The clouds assembled into moving images. Although misty, the image was clear and Clary was staring at none other than Jace, Isabelle, Simon, Alec, Maia and Jordan. They all seemed to be facing Jace with their expression ranging from desperation to shock and even disgust ( Simon). "What is this?" Clary demanded with anger in her shaking voice. Jonathan clicked his fingers and she heard them speaking.

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><p>"Jace please, you love her" Isabelle pleaded with tears in her eyes. " We need to find her, you can't shutdown, she needs you!" she rose into a yell as she sunk to the floor. Simon kneeled on the floor to hold a shaking Isabelle.<p>

"There is no hope for her. She's either dead or that sick bastards slave. He's probably ruined her by now." Jace replied with a determined stare at the wall in front of him. Isabelle stared at him with her mouth hanging open, identical with her brothers expression. Maia and Jordan looked mildly confused and Simon had a look of outright disgust on his face.

"Look I'm not in love with Clary anymore, I have Isabelle. But Clary is and always will be like a sister to me. I'd do anything for her. I'd do anything for any of you, and that includes your selfish ass" Simon said looking straight at Jace, " But I always told her that she was too good for you. That you didn't deserve her. And I guess I was right. But you know what Jace? I don't want to be right!" he yelled at Jace. " I was really hoping that you'd be different. That you'd prove me wrong. You had all of us fooled. We all actually thought you gave a damn about someone other than yourself. Good job mate. I hope you're really proud with yourself. Clary is probably counting on you, probably hoping or waiting for you to find her and yet you shit here as if this has nothing to do with you. You disgust me." With tears running down his face, Simon picked up Isabelle and walked out of the room.

"What the hell is the point of risking everyone's lives to go rescue her when she's most likely already dead. Either that or she's drank from the immortal cup which basically ends up being the same thing. She's gone. She's not coming back. I wish everyone would wake up and realize that." Jace said to the wall in a dead tone.

"Dude I just don't get it. You love her. I know you love her by the way you look at her. It's the same way I look at Maia. Whatever this bluff is that you're trying to pull, it's not working for me mate. I really hope you decide to do something for her. I wasn't close with her but I know she was a good person, a person worth saving." with that, Jordan grabbed Maia's hand and went to tug her out of the room.

"I knew you were like my brother you disgusting piece of dirt" With that, Maia spat at the floor next to Jace and let Jordan tug her out of the room with an incredulous look at her.

" Yeah, she WAS a good person. No one gets it. There's nothing left to save. She's probably safer where she is now than with me and the heavenly fire." Jace said quietly.

Alec moved to put a hand on Jace's shoulder but someone Clary hadn't noticed stood up and strode up to Jace. Moving in-between the wall and Jace, forcing Jace to look at the persons face instead. "How dare you talk about Clary as if she isn't alive anymore. How dare you give up on her. HOW DARE YOU CLAIM YOU LOVE HER. Don't you dare try to make everyone feel sorry for you. Aw poor little baby, has the heavenly fire, he can't touch Clary all the time. No one's falling for that and no one, I REPEAT NO ONE, thinks that it is a good enough excuse to not bring her back. If you truly loved her then you would not give a damn about whether she was a safe distance from you or not. You would know that she is safest here where you can watch over her. I really don't care what you say but don't you dare say you loved her if you are just going to sit around here doing nothing. Clary is amazing. She is like a daughter to me, I watched her grow from a little brat into a big brat, and I will do anything to get her back into safe hands, no matter what the cost. You think about yourself and how it's so tragic that you can't touch Clary SOMETIMES, incase you hurt her. What about me and Alec?" Alec choked in shock, "He'll grow old and die and then I'll have to live without him, grieving him for the rest of my life. What about Isabelle and Simon? They're in the exact same position. What about Maia and Jordan? He did inexcusable things to her and she has to shove them down just to make him happy even though she doesn't really love him. What about Clary's mother? She loved Valentine even though he was pure evil and treated her horribly. You think you have it bad. Think about everyone else instead of just your goddamn self" And with that, no other than Magnus turned around with tears in his eyes and a magnificent kind of anger on his face and strode out with blue sparks jumping from his finger tips.

* * *

><p>The clouds suddenly started spinning again and turned white. Clary couldn't move. She was rooted to the spot. How could he? How…. Why.. ? She could feel Jonathans stare but she didn't have time to acknowledge this right now. She had wasted so much time on Jace. So much effort. Gone to hell and back for him and he still had the galls to drop her like a piece of trash. She felt pure anger start to slowly burn from her chest outwards to the very ends of her fingers and toes. She suddenly let loose an animal like scream and turned around, punching a bookcase out of instinct. She started releasing all her pent up anger and despair on the bookcase and when she was done it was reduced to little pieces of wooden planks. She fell to the floor and started pulling at her hair while she cried. How dumb she had been to actually believed he loved her. Her eyes locked into a particularly sharp piece of plastic that had been attached the book shelf. She had to numb the pain, she felt as if her heart was ripping as she cried and that she could feel it bleeding in her chest. She imagined the blood entering her lungs, drowning her. She snatched the piece of plastic and set about shredding her wrists open with the sharp tip. Trying to release her pain.<p>

She felt arms wrap around her like bars of iron, not letting her move. She had forgotten that Jonathan was there. He pried her fingers open, plucking the piece of plastic for her hand and pulling a stele out to mark an irate on her arms. "I… I'm sorry Clary.. I shouldn't have shown you that." She was surprised at how broken he sounded. She twisted to look at him. He had tears in his eyes an refused to look at her, as if he felt ashamed. She lifted his chin up with one of her fingers and studied his face.

"Why are you sorry?" she asked simply.

"I love you so much and I want anything but to cause you pain. I thought you'd realize that I love you more and that I treat you better than him if you saw that but I was wrong. I shouldn't have shown you because now you're hurting and when you hurt I hurt. You may belong to me but I belong to you too Clary. Your pain is my pain."

She stared at him incredulously. She couldn't believed what he had said. She pondered for a moment before pressing her lips gently to his and kissing him. She felt him tense and stop breathing. She moved back and wiped his tears. "I love you too" she whispered. "I was I didn't but I do. I love Jace as well and I won't lie, I don't love you as much as I love him but I do love you" she told him with a straight face.

"Good enough for me", he gave her a small smile and leant in to kiss her again. She kissed him back and slowly the kiss grew more passionate. She was still in despair about Jace and was hurting. He was hurting too at the fact that she loved Jace more and that he had caused her pain. He picked her up and carried her to the wall. He pushed her against it and she wrapper her legs around him. They continued to kiss through the tears, they weren't just kissing anymore. They were drawing on each others strength. Clary felt as if they breathed together, almost as one person. She pulled away and looked at him. He looked at her too and she realized it was the same way Jace used to look at her. She teared up and bit and he kissed her on the forehead. "Time for some sleep I think." He said to her.

"I'm not - " She was interrupted by her own yawn, " dammit, oh well, yeah let's get some sleep".

"You can sleep with me?" he said softly. Seeing the look in her eyes he quickly added, " Not like that, just lie with me and sleep, nothing else i promise". His promise reminded her of the time she slept with Jace in Idris. She felt her heart shatter and replied with a soft " okay". With that, the two heartbroken siblings made their way upstairs.

**CONTINUE TO REVIEW 3**


	5. Chapter 5

**Firstly I would like to thank all my lovely reviewers ! You guys are amazing and give me support to keep going, if anyone does have any suggestions or things that they want to happen please let me know and i'll try to incorporate them into the story :D xx****Basically I own nothing except the plot, Cassandra Clare own everything else.**

Clary woke slowly. She was more relaxed than she has been for days. She shifted only to find someone's arm around her. She looked over to see Jonathan and the events of the night flooded back to her. The pain came in fresh waves and she closed her eyes and bit her lip to prevent the crying and sobbing which was sure to come. Jonathan had held her all night while she cried and wiped her tears while kissing her fore head and cheeks and telling her he loved her. She had no doubt he did and she felt herself starting to cave in. She opened her eyes and studied his face.

He was beautiful without a doubt. His long eyelashes rested on his high cheekbones and her hand rested underneath one of side of his perfectly defined jaw. He looked like a calvin klein model expect better. Her hands itched to draw him and capture this moment where he looked so peaceful and vulnerable. Slowly she stroked his cheek and his eyes fluttered open and a lazy smile spread across his face as he noticed her.

"Hey gorgeous, how'd you sleep?" he asked in a sexy gravelly voice that only guys have when they're tired. She stared at him, wanting to kiss him so badly in that moment.

"Alright, you?" she simply replied. He nodded his response. He then moved to get up. She was in a bra and underwear as he had stripped her so that she'd be comfortable.

"I need… um.." she looked down at hr body then back at him. He slyly grinned as her realised what she was asking for.

"But darling I so prefer you the way you are now" he joked back. She blushed bright red and huffed at his response. He rolled his eyes and plunged his hand into his wardrobe pulling out a white button up shirt and passing it to her. "Here you go" he said and watched her cover her body sadly as if he was truly sad to see her body sheathed.

She giggled. "No need to look so depressed Jon seriously" she teased and jumped up from bed. "So where we going?" She asked. She wanted to keep herself busy from thinking about Jace.

"For breakfast of course, follow me to the kitchen" He then promptly left the room with her hurrying to catch up. They padded downstairs and she realised there was two level to the house not including the basement. She knew she should keep this information in case she decided to escape but to be honest she didn't really want to anymore and it's not like any of her friends would know she chose to stay with Jonathan of her own accord. Actually now that she thought about it, if they never found her, they would never know what she chose to do, there was no one to disappoint anymore.

She bumped into Jonathan lost in thought. He'd stopped in the doorway of the kitchen. There was a full blown meal waiting for them, still steaming hot. It included eggs and bacon and tomato soup as well as bread and cold meats and cheeses. There was orange juice and water and two different jugs. "Wow" she breathed in astonishment.

"The house can make meals on its own" he replied looking a bit embarrassed.

"Good" she replied with honest wonderment in her eyes. His embarrassment vanished at her delightment and he smiled as he pulled out a chair for her to sit in and then rounded the table to sit in his chair.

"Dig in" he said and chuckled as she started shoving food onto her plate and don her throat like no tomorrow. Then his expression darkened and he looked down at his plate while he ate. Not looking up once.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked in concern. He looked up at her with shock.

"Of course not" he replied.

"Then what upset you?"

"Oh well it's just that you were obviously so hungry and you were starting to look so sick and I realised I wasn't taking good enough care of you. You should never be underfed or disadvantaged in any way while you live with me." He replied looking almost pained.

"You take good care of me don't worry Jon" she smiled. He smiled back at her and they put their dishes in the sink. "So what now?" she asked still trying to keep herself busy. "Training?".

"If you want" He replied. His face changed. It was just a fraction of a change but she noticed it. It was like he was trying to hold back a smirk. He was planning something, she knew it. She was looking forward to it, maybe it will be like the last time she thought. Being in the same breathing space as Jonathan was difficult for Clary because he was so sexually alluring. But she could bear it. But when he actually tried though, she just couldn't resist.

He led her to yet another room where there was a clear space in the middle of the room with weapons littering the walls. They glinted at her menacingly as she approached the middle of the space. They went through her usual stretches and exercises. She had a go at using some of the weapons on the wall. Adjusting to the weight of them and learning where on the body the weak spots were. Sometimes she imagined Jace as the dummy and for some reason it actually worked for her. She'd mentally yell at him "How dare you pretend this whole time that you loved me. I wasted years of my life on you". And boom, the dummies head came clean off.

When it got to the one on one combat she was finally holding her own against Jonathan. Whenever she landed a hit she'd notice a slight arch of Jonathans eyebrow, signalling that he was surprised she'd got him. This boosted her confidence, a little too much, she got a bit cocky and left herself open. He took advantage and lunged at her, pulling her down.

"Never leave yourself open" he said between huffs of breath. She was breathing hard and sweating a bit, their bodies heaving against each other as they both struggled to breath. Suddenly lust overtook her body. She wound her hands into his hair and pulled him down for a kiss. It seemed that he was thinking the same thing as instead of being surprised he leant down, closing his eyes and gently placed his mouth on hers. Their kiss grew more heated and he ran his tongue along her lips begging entry that she happily granted. His hand dug into her hip and the other held his weight off of her but still pinned her to the ground. She had both hands on either side of his face and her legs open with him in between but knees squeezing against his hips.

Their tongues danced but as always, Jonathan won the fight for dominance. He groaned slightly into her mouth and she wrapped her legs around him pulling her body completely against him. Their bodies touched everywhere. She could feel the burn of his body above her and she loved it. He slowly retracted his mouth from hers and started to kiss down her jaw and throat. Her bit her throat lightly as he grinded against her. She whimpered helplessly as she was completely at his mercy and her growing warmth between her legs notified her that she was probably really wet.

His hands fumbled on the buttons of his shirt she was wearing before giving up and tearing it open. "Dammit I liked that shirt" she mumbled.

"We can get another one" he mumbled back against her throat as his hands explored her body. She moaned as his hands travelled under her bra and brushed her nipples. He felt around and unclipped it before pulling it off. He set the black lace bra aside and started to kiss down to her collar bones. She was a mewling mess beneath him and she could feel his hardness through his pants as he watched her with a growing intensity In his eyes. He brushed his fingers against her underwear and watched her shiver with a smile. He kissed down to her nipples, teasing them and sucking them into his mouth before fully ripping her underwear off. He then trailed his kisses lower and heard her breath catch. He moved to kiss her inner thigh all the way down to the knee and then swapped to the other leg. Torturing her was making her incredibly turned on.

" P-P-P-Please" she moaned " Jonathan".

He grinned at her before trailing kisses back up her body and pulling his pants and underwear off in the process. He started kissing her again, his hands digging into her side as she clawed his back. She ripped his shirt off and threw it aside. "You're so beautiful fuck Clary" he told her as he gazed down at her.

"Jonahan I need you. Now," She said staring straight into his eyes. He nodded and positioned himself between her legs.

" If it hurts.."

"Just keep going" she interrupted him.

He gave her and almost sorry look and plunged in. She gritted her teeth and clenched her teeth. It wasn't unbearable but it wasn't pleasant either. He kissed her neck in an attempt to sooth her. "Just start moving" She ordered him.

"Yes mam" he replied with a mock salute and kissed her as he started to move. Her lips stopped responding as her brain was overwhelmed by the pleasure emitting from her core. She arched back clawing at Jonathans back and he took the opportunity to attack her neck leaving a trail of hickies and small gentle bites. The combination was driving her insane and she moaned without abandon. He started to increase his pace and she felt the pressure inside her build.

"Oh god Jonathan, just like that, don't stop" She kept repeating. With Jonathan's growls and groans in her ear it was hard to contain herself. Suddenly he stopped and rolled them over so she was ontop and he was in a sitting position. Straddling him against the wall she started to roll her hips against his, not about to give up the pleasure she was receiving. He threw his head back and moaned, hands digging into her thighs. She leant over and kissed and bit his neck like he had for her while she rode him. Eventually he stopped her, thrusting up into her so fast she flew straight towards the edge of climax.

"Cum for me baby" He whispered in her ear and she flew right off the edge into an earth shattering orgasm. She felt herself get tighter around him and heard him moan her name and he reached it too. It seemed to last forever and when they both did finally come down from their high she fell against his chest and he stroked her hair and kissed her forehead.

"Cmon, time for a shower darling" He spoke as he started to get up. She was too tired too move so he picked her up bridal style and walked her into the bathroom. He turned on the shower and walked her in. He then proceeded to massage shampoo into her hair and wash it out with gentle hands. Repeating the process for the conditioner he then turned the shower off, dried them both and carried her to the room where she knocked out the second her head hit the pillow. He looked at her lovingly before setting off the prepare dinner.


End file.
